T.T I just want to be happy again

Few days ago. My happiness was back for a few days, just for a few days only. No! I refuse to lose it again! I've been sucking up for like almost the entire year. Most of the time I'm just sucking it up, walking alone, talking very little or almost to no one at all. Why? Have I been to easily hurt? Am I being too sensitive? I thought my happiness would last.. Or maybe I just have to open up once again. If my mind would let me. I hate being around negative people, they only make me feel worst. And sometimes even a single word could spark a flare in my world. I've went out this afternoon and had a nice time chatting with old friends of mine. I do actually enjoy talking in real life with people laughing and making me smile than facing in front of a computer trying to drive my anger to its peak. Sometimes it's just me, sometimes it's other people. But who can I blame? I'm responsible for what I am right now. Dear Jesus Christ please help me u.u I always tell myself to have faith but somehow these two days seem like sort of a challenge for me. I need friends to make me feel better, I need to calm myself down. Oh, what am I kidding? People will always be people. They bring you down, they talk shit, they don't care. Human beings, sometimes I wonder if we are like animals. Or maybe worst.. What am I? I always try to be nice to people, I do favors, I do all sorts of stuff just to make people happy. What does that make me sometimes? An attention whore? And when I don't actually care for people, what does that make me? A heartless person? ._. All I ever want right now is peace, and peace is all I seek for. If only I could go to the seaside and wait till dusk to enjoy the sunset. It would be pleasant to forget everything for a short period of time. But for now.. I'll just have to suffer, maybe there will be something nice in store for me. I hope there will be something nice. Cause I can't take it anymore. I'm just so tired. No one would help me if I'm on my knees. No one, and help sometimes is just so far away that I can't help but to suffer alone, to cry alone, to face everything. Alone..