Same old story

Same old story, nothing new. The feelings come and go. I wonder when will it all end? Or am I the one who's holding too tight? Afraid to let go.. I can't contain myself sometimes. I break down and cry. People tell me to stop thinking about it. Its easier said than done. How am I suppose to not think about it, when sometimes the thing is just right infront of you. It's so hard to ignore you know.. Yet I question myself sometimes why am I doing this.. I can't even anwser it. If I can't help myself, who can? I'm just so weak ._. what's wrong with me? I can't seem to smile so much these few days. Communication with other people just seems so alien, so new, so weird to me. And the smile on my face doesn't last long. It will fade away eventually.. I guess its my own fault. Who else is there to blame? I shouldn't keep staying mad at you. But you're just so obstinant, so stubborn.. How am I suppose to forgive you? I really wish you could just disappear from this house. Maybe come back after a while after I've cooled off. I can't bear with this silent treatment for months. It's just driving me crazy. Who would understand me?